#11 - Oh Montreal

After a good nights sleep I tried to sneak out early.  Nope... Becki's Grandpa had set the table so beautifully and had coffee waiting.
No problem.  I'll sit and enjoy this time since I no longer have grandparents, I never KNEW my grandpa's and... well... I just love old people.  They make me smile and feel sad all at the same time.

On the road it was foggy... rainy... dreary... almost like the world was displaying how I felt inside.
What was I doing?
Where was I going?
All this for a man??

I thought back to the adventure's I'd had the last couple weeks... where I had all been... and it made me think of the past 12 years of my life.  I have lived a lot in those 12 years.
Bought houses
Travelled non stop
Fell in love, fell out, fell back in
Recorded CD's
Made amazing friends that all impacted my life... whether they were just for a season of it or not.
Was "tight" with God, made some choices where I didn't include him, was reminded... what a life.

And now this, this was a new chapter I was stepping into.
On this car ride, it felt a little forced on me.  Which is never good since up until that point I was always in "control".

Once I saw my beautiful man I felt joy... but I couldn't help the sort or mourning feeling that I had inside as well.  Melissa Plett would never be who she was 3 days ago...

Fast forward a couple days and this is what I wrote back then.. in the moment:

So I promised I'd come
I promised I'd give it a real good attempt at making my life work in French Land but seriously!!! Could the weather be any worse?!


It's been snowing each morning and raining the rest... it's grey, wet, awful.
If you're already lonesome, down, resistant or anything negative... this does NOT help!


Why wouldn't the sky be all "Hey Melissa, see how awesome it is here!  There's wine, cheese, mountains, valley's, rivers, and so much for you to explore!  Come on!  Get out there!  Enjoy Quebec!"
No.
It's more like; "Hey Melissa.  Get out of here.  We don't want your Mennonite kind soiling our land."
Would you believe the only thing on TV said something negative about the "English in Quebec"?!
And it looked as though they were having an honest fight about it.
The sound was off since it was at the gym (where I fought HARD not to get too... but lost that battle against Keven), but I could lip read "English does NOT belong in Quebec! Leave... LEAVE, LEEEEEEEAVE!!!"
Yup.  That's what they said alright.

Thankfully it was at that point when Keven came in.
Smiling, like he always does, and happy to see me... he broke my thought and "saved the day".
Don't get me wrong, it certainly wasn't all lollipops and gummy bears.
I still spent the next week or so crying almost every day, wrote a perfectly depressing song, and fought everyday to accept my potential new "fate"...

A little bit of time working out, a whole lot of love and support from the strongest man I've ever been so lucky to meet, and finally, FINALLY, some sunshine helped me see a bit of potential to the choice I was making...